Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Changes.


In two days Parker will be getting Cochlear Implants. (Cross my fingers)

So, for the next few days my posts will be "Parker-fied" with stories, pictures and thoughts all about him. This is a very big moment in his life and I want to make sure we capture all of it.

"Tear, Tear"

Soon I will be introduced to a new Parker. Hmmm, once he hears sound will he think the same? Look at me the same? Laugh different? Become timid? Will the surgery even work?? I am preparing myself for every possibility.  The Hubs and I adore this kid so freaking much, I am nervous to see what changes, if anything changes.  He doesn't even know who I really am, when they hook the processors on I will introduce myself to my son for the first time.  For the first time my son will hear me say " I love you".  Those words are so powerful to me now. Signing it just isn't the same. 

When Parker was first diagnosed, the Hubs took it pretty hard. Silently.  I made a promise to Hubs and Parker that we would never give up. We would try to teach him about the world, in a different way.  Regardless he is ours and we would have it no other way Cochlear Implant or Not.  I don't know why he chose me to be his mother. Come on I was a naive, selfish, barely 20 year old when I had him.  I do know he has changed a lot of peoples way of thinking.  He is such a beam of light, in this dark world.  

I hope he never stops dancing to his own beat.
I hope he continues to see detail.
I hope he likes our loud world.
I hope he never forgets we tried make the best decision for him.

I hope he likes me.    


                          

The hubs trying to entertain a hungry Parker.

Not too impressed by the entertainment.

My heart just melted and is on the floor!

Good boy cleaning your friend.
Someone dropped Woody, he's dirty again. Meltdown #1

My child looks homeless.




14 Comments:

Blogger TeeTee said...

I hope all goes well.

June 3, 2009 at 4:27 PM  
Blogger --Heather-- said...

you know how I feel about you... he totally pick the right family, the RIGHT mom! He has already shown me a new way of viewing things... love him!

June 3, 2009 at 4:29 PM  
Blogger Caleen said...

Ok.. so I totally crying right now.. all good!! You know I love you all and whatever happens Parker is loved!! He will always be special to me and I prayed for a miracle and he came into our lives.. I sang to him when I didn't even know he couldn't hear. I will continue singing to him regardless.. He has taught us all a lot and we are so blessed to have him.. You are strong Brooke!! Let Go and Let God!! He has definitely brought miracles into my life.. I love you all!!! Mom

June 3, 2009 at 6:18 PM  
Blogger Jeff and Eliza said...

Oh man! You almost got me to cry! It's gonna be so crazy and a completely different life for you guys in a good way! Good luck! I can't wait to say hi to Parker!

June 3, 2009 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger Teryn Ashley said...

Your post made me cry... As a mom my heart just melted... Parker is such a blessing!

June 3, 2009 at 7:36 PM  
Blogger ♥Aubrey said...

There i was reading your post on my blackberry while driving...something i should not have been doing. And i start crying! Your story is so moving and touched me so...because when my daughter was born they told me she was blind. Through time this proved not to be so, but i had the same emotions and thoughts as you've described. It's difficult to think about the changes. Something so little can have such an impact. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I would love to send you something if you would allow me to :) You can write me:
made_youblush@yahoo.com

{{Hugs}}

June 3, 2009 at 7:56 PM  
Blogger Alicia said...

I love the picture of Parkie crying! He's so dang cute!! We're praying for you guys!

June 3, 2009 at 8:28 PM  
Blogger jasmine said...

oh my gosh. this is so exciting!! ugh, i hope it works. i hope it happens. i hope there aren't any problems or delays. you guys deserve this. parker deserves this SO MUCH. i can't wait til you can tell your son you love him.

levi and i will be praying for you guys. you can count on that!

June 3, 2009 at 8:56 PM  
Blogger The Higginbothams said...

You definitely made me cry and I don't think it's the hormones. I hadn't even considered all the changes that might occur, and how emotional this could be. I hope everything works out as you have hoped and that the adjustments come quickly and easily. My prayers are with you guys!

June 3, 2009 at 9:18 PM  
Blogger ♥Aubrey said...

You've been tagged. Go to my blog!

June 3, 2009 at 10:27 PM  
Blogger kelly said...

Great post and pictures. A jillion thoughts are in my head right now but I'm too tired to get them out right! Tyler needs to come home from out of town, I have problems going to sleep when he isn't here! I can imagine how excited and nervous and everything you guys must be right now. I hope everything goes well and I am so sure he will love you even more!

June 3, 2009 at 11:36 PM  
Blogger Kevin said...

Brooke,
It takes more than ears to hear.

Parker feels your heartbeat as you lay him across your chest and rock him to sleep.
Parker hears your smile when you laugh at his happy feet.
Parker hears your eyes when you gaze at him in wonder.
Most of all, Parker's spirit hears your spirit as the love you have for him comes off of you in waves and resounds in the depths of his soul.
Mother and son have a closer connection than the vast majority because you havent been handicapped with words alone.

I love you, Daughter. Dad

June 4, 2009 at 10:36 AM  
Blogger heather said...

what your dad wrote is so beautiful. he makes me proud to be a beatty!

good luck. i will be thinking of you guys.

June 4, 2009 at 12:04 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Beautiful pictures! So sweet and love the story they tell

June 8, 2009 at 8:30 AM  

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