Thursday, February 25, 2010

The randomness of random randoms.

So lately life has been a little random.
Daily activities bring never ending surprises.
Lots of giggles and excitement.

Pretty amazing if you ask me.

Heres how our days have been going...

So maybe the day starts out with some casual drawing in the Buzz Lightyear Pj's.
Followed by some light cartoon watching.

Then we mayyybee move onto building some block cities.

After lunch, lately its been park time. Rain or Shine. :)
I'm the cool mom that lets him get dirty.

Of course we have to bring along the "cool" little bro.

And with that bro comes the sister who eats oranges in the bath.
True Story.

Then maybe we lock Parker in the car...
also true story.
Mother of the year right here people!

Bathroom pics with the sis are a nightly must!
We multi task by giving Mr. Park a bath...

My mom then tends to come out of her craft "cave"
and presents me with pretties.
She made me that headband.

Then I'm usually off to paint or create some type
of masterpiece...
or maybe I just sit and talk on the phone for hours...

But whatever does happen next...
(in the words of Martha Stewart)

"It's a good thing."

Friday, February 19, 2010

A world full of lost, confused, conflicted, and fearful thoughts. These thoughts helped create a mess of a life for her. Everyday was a struggle, a struggle just to “be”. The constant entrapment of her rehearsed ways constructed relentless secrecy. Hiding the demons that lurked among the mind of this trouble being, was always a fight. A fight against herself.

The delusional world she created around her, the façade became easy to become apart of. What a sham of a smile she gave to passing strangers. That mask that hid all of her insecurities was as thick as granite. She couldn’t be broken for she already chipped her emotions away. The numbness that engulfed her shell of a body raised the awareness that she was merely just there. At times she thought she felt joy. Never could really tell if the feeling was apart of her daily performance. Act 7 Scene 3? Maybe, or maybe she did "feel" at times.

There were many people around her. Some she depended on to keep her ground stable. Like a scale, if one left her side the existence she had worked so hard to keep manageable became unsteady, unknowing. Although she had many who unconditionally cared for her, she had become so callused; I don’t think their love ever reached her. To her, she was the only broken one. To her everyone had it so easy. There were no demons taking over her “beauty pageant queen” of a sister’s mind. Not wanting to take that form, that cookie cutter mold of a being. It wasn’t her. So I guess she was taking a risk, to conform and feel safe or be, her.

Few were able to bring her walls down; few were able to make her feel secure enough to put that mask away. However, when she was comfortable enough to show her true self, it was a beauty.

To be cont....

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Oh. Parkie.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Losing yourself.

If you've seen the movie Runaway Bride, you are familiar with "The egg test".
How do you like your eggs?
Over easy?
Eggs Benedict?

My whole life I thought I liked my eggs scrambled...
because everyone I know eats them that way. So...
I sat down and realllyyyyy thought about it.
Ive come to an eye opening conclusion...
I hate eggs!

That got me thinking. What do "I" like?
Me. Myself. and Only I.
Do I let people influence my decision making?!
Oh.My. I DO!

How disappointing.
I want to be authentic. So that's it.
I am going on my own adventure.
It's time about time I break out of the mold people create for me. It's time I find Brooke.

So many new things are blossoming in my life. I want to leave my old dried out petals behind.
Far behind. Each new petal that replaces an old one will be so much stronger and brighter.

No more losing myself in others.
I am me. Myself. and Only I.

I want to give myself new challenges...
Help me! Challenge me!